To Forgive & Forget

It's not about forgetting what had happened... It's not about saying 'it's okay'... It's not about accepting apology...and moving on...


"Forgiveness is
Giving Up the Hope that the Past Could Be Different"


-The Oprah Winfrey Show



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A reading triggered this...

"Do you remember...


walking home from school...


in the middle of hailstones?"

Am I bold?

Gastronomically, perhaps...

Abah was justifying why he prefers Vanilla-flavoured ice cream compared to Chocolate (what his children favour most). He insists vanilla is more versatile & easier to match with anything especially since he wanted to pair it with his favourite fermented tapioca(tapai ubi) [although, rather, the ice cream is commonly paired with fermented glutinous-rice (tapai pulut) at some tapai stalls].
And of course we are all familiar with 'floats'; fizzy drinks with floating scoop of ice cream on top (definitely vanilla-flavoured).

I just smiled listening to him since I have no qualms abt anything quirky or fusion in terms of food & I'm not really picky abt them flavours anyway. I'd just buy/eat according to preference but make do with what is present. So i did ate the tapai with vanilla ice cream as he persuaded me to (just because I haven't try it so before). Nothing to be acquired abt it really, just a nice, sweet, cool fermentish dessert ;p

The next day, after dinner, while watching Nigella the kitchen goddess, i was reminded by her previous episode (can't remember from which series), which gives me another try out idea with the vanilla ice cream. She was adoring the Asian sweet chilli sauce readily made in a bottle. Looking at the sweet chilli sauce bottle on the table, a smirk fleets on me face ;p The sauce was there for the dip for our steam boat dinner.

The exact sauce

Nigella, you got me! And .... voila!

Looks like raspberry sauce doesn't it? :p

Verdict: I would say the same thing as Nigella did; "You should try it".


p/s: Cream crackers with sambal belacan & curry puff dipped in sambal tumis are fun & scrumptious! ;)

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Aroma-triggered memories

"Coffee gives me a pain, which is not without desire feeling. “

-Napoleon Bonaparte

When I was ten, I remember looking forward to smelling my teacher every morning at school, haha... Imagine that?! She literally smells of coffee every single time being near her. The smell evoked warmth & pleasantness of being with her.
It made me wonder really, to have the smell works as 'perfume' on you, does she like, have her home fills with wafting steam of coffee brewing in the kitchen every morning before going to work? And of course, she would always have a mug of hot coffee in her hand every time she arrives to class ^_^ I miss you Mrs. Bernstein...

I still admire & wonder abt. it now as whenever I smell coffee, be it at home/ the previous office, it never gives the same effect as I used to have 20 years ago...The smell never lasts long enough.
But at least it still triggers the pleasant memories...of her & now of my office buddies in KayeMeM ;)
I find that I drink coffee more often now... not like 3 or 4 times a day but just, daily in the morning :)

Too much of everything is definitely not good, eh? hehe... I read that caffeine is a diuretic drug. So u need to replenish your body with more water when you take coffee. Caffeine also hinders calcium absorption thus it is advisable to drink it with milk. But I know my buddies would say "Black is better!" I couldn't agree more of course ;p

Gasp...! Coffee at home is abt. to finish!?

Parents' friend got this for us when they went to Vienna

Can you smell it?

Hmmmm...smell it??

S M E L L that

Some private moment, please

Nailed!

Some time ago it was a prick,
Then it was a slash,
This morning it was a nail
in my own coffin.

A hundred times over
and a hundred times more,
Each time it gets heavier.
It hurts to the core.

Mind over matters,
matters over heart.
Take a deep breath,
to know where to start.


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Now playing: once-falling slowly
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Michael Learns To Rock @McDonald, Genting Sempah

Man...30 minutes standing next to them waiting to order...! o_O
They had a concert the night before in Kuantan.

Paint my love, you should paint my love!~

10 Signs It's Time To Quit Your Job - Yahoo! Singapore Finance

10 Signs It's Time To Quit Your Job - Yahoo! Singapore Finance

Worry if you make the wrong decision? Try wait & see if all the signs take place at the same time.

Now, does that help clear your mind? :)


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Relieve Stress - Emotional Wellness - Boost Self-Esteem

Relieve Stress - Emotional Wellness - Boost Self-Esteem - Health Tip - RealAge

A colleague of mine shared with me a mantra,
"Thank You 'Body' for tolerating all the hard work I give you and the abuse I put you through".

This reminds me of a du'a an Ustaz taught that should be recited daily,
"Ya Allah, please don't place me among those who do injustice unto self and unto others ".

How much have we given ourselves and How much should we?


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Life is like Coffee Movie

Life is like Coffee Movie: "Do you know people that just seem to be happier in general? Do you say to yourself, "I want to be more like them"? Often, the happiest people in the world don’t have the best of everything...they just make the best of everything!"



Courtesy of www.simpletruths.com

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Cruisin' to Rengit

I should feel relieved, glad, calmed, comforted, pleased etc. you tell me. Maktok has been away from her dwelling for 1 month; first 2 weeks at my parents', then a week at Oteh's & the final week back at ours.

Her children; my aunts & uncles from Ampang, including my 2 lil' cousins, came to see her before she left for kampung. My aunts used that tone that I sometimes use on Mak whenever I feel like being clingy... I should laugh or giggle but I hoped they didn't see the attempted smile I had...

Maktok was unable to visit their places this time. She gave an excuse that I never thought I'd heard before; the stairs at their places are too high for her to climb. But I hear such statements a lot from her lately... That she'd feel congested in her chest when coming back from taking ablution... That she'd sometimes woke up in the middle of the night, feeling of some sort... That she'd feel hurt in behind whenever she sits too long... & my heart waver at each one, contemplating on the best response.

She told the same stories several times also; of how arwah Tokki used to help her in the kitchen when their children were younger, how her father-in-law taught her stuff in the kitchen in her early marriage days with Tokki, how Nek Yang (her mother-in-law) helped her finished the laundry when she was taking a long time in doing it...how Nek Yang died within minutes after she fell (Nek Yang was alive until I was 9 y/o)...how her tears fell incessantly the day Mak got married to Abah...how her relative died recently while being forced to finish his drink by a nurse at the hospital...

Getting her to drink is the usual joke/ laughable (can't think of another word) predicament between us. It's worrying... I mean, she fainted due to dehydration once in Mecca! She admitted it is the hardest thing for her to do, drinking half a cup is a chore to her. She stared at my 430 ml filled tumbler, thinking she'd take a week to finish it while I would at times empty it in one sitting. We gave her our other 430 ml tumbler just so it'd be an easier reminder for her, to drink more often, if not much.

I watched her treat my 2 other cousins living with her patiently, & lovingly of course. Each like to sit in front of her on the prayer mat whenever she finishes her solat. At different times, each would show her their 'work' on paper, the new toy they have, the funny things their baby sister has just did etc. Maktok would smile, nod, while her lips never stop the zikrullah.

Maktok is still well at kampung at the moment... Alhamdulillah...InshaAllah...

Why this entry?

It's been in my mind for quite some time... & I had just read a farewell entry of a friend of a friend whose husband died young in an accident, just last month. He left behind his wife of 3 years, a 2 y/o daughter & a 3-month old baby. Moments before the accident, she actually asked her husband, what it would be like when they were old, who would die first between them? Her husband just clasped her hand tight in reply.

& before that my sister dreamed of teeth falling...

Cruising back to Serdang, I still can't place my heart...
But Allah knows best.

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*WinkWink*

Can you figure which one is my favourite birthday wish? (^_^)
Oops, I love all the birthday wishes I received on FB, but this one has 'sentimental' value :p Okayy, change that to 'historical' value!

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Wednesday evening

Only a handful appeared at the seminar this evening. First; it wasn't the usual class day. Second; the venue was unfamiliar. Third; there was a miscommunication which stated two different venues previously. I don't really mind but pity the guest speaker had to wait on participants, endured door-bangings now and then & that the session was too laid-back also. Anyway, let's put that aside.

Been having poor appetite these days. But I'm not starving. I ate but just not at the usual amount. Is that good or bad? :p Well, it won't last longer for sure, hehe...
I decided to read the elken new promotion updates while waiting for isyak when SG sms asking abt driving licence for 18 y/o male. Is it still true that you can apply once you reach 17 y/o? Or is it 18 y/o now? I remember my senior drove her father's car to school when we were in form 5. I think back then u're allowed to apply at the age of 16.

A couple minutes later Brenda msg on BIMB installment issue & asking how I am. I actually already bought the supplement she suggested for the tingling pain behind my left knee (now it has moved up my thigh). Blood circulation problem. It came along with the back pain I had last time but I didn't pay much attention to it as the backache was more intense. When it's gone, i was quite overjoyed that I still didn't give a thought abt the pain behind my knee. I remember entering the unit back in KayeMeM and the KU saw me grimacing as I felt a cramp at my leg. He asked what's the matter but I just shrugged it off. Now I'm tackling it step by step.

After a few replies with Brenda, came Yenny's msg. Waaah, I felt loved this evening! hehe... Haven't heard from her for a very long time. She asked also in which univ. I am in & asked me to go to KayeMPeeKay after finishing my study, where she works. I urged her to apply study leave also since I know she had participated in quite a number of R&D events and programmes. She's also very hardworking. But somehow, she isn't quite convinced of her chance *sigh* Anyway, I asked her to check on her eSKayTee marks first before concluding her fate.

Hmm....it isn't such a lonely planet after all... :) Alhamdulillah

*to Ms RS, You Will Make It! Deo Volente!
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Being Dedicated To

Where for art thou?

Now, why would I want to talk about Daniel Bedingfield's Gotta Get Thru This? Something came up. It was barely 2 weeks ago since I 'pulled out' this cassette from my car along with Dido's Life For Rent and Hoobastank's Every Man For Himself. I left Amr Diab's Tamally Ma'ak in my car still, to be accompanied with 2 other cassettes that I put in to replace. Yes, my car still uses cassette player okayy

I bought the cassette in Jusco Ayer Keroh, 2006. There was a sale, hence the price. Of course, the album was out years before. It has such a sentimental value that I jumped at the sight of it. I still remember when my room mates back in uia copied the video clip in glee. Two of my friends also dedicated one song to their boyfriends back then; "If You're Not The One". Now they are happily married. No, not because of the song, hehe :p But the episode created such a sweet memory on them. Indeed the song is very poignant. I remember we helped them adapted some lyrics so that it became a female version.

So I got this cassette to listen to at times at the place I rented. Whenever I'm stressed with work or dying to finish some chores, "Gotta Get Thru This" helps! When I'm bummed up about a mistake I did, "Blown It Again" punches it down... When having problems on people's attitude, "I Can't Read You" makes life funner :p I later kept the cassette in my car for several years and enjoyed listening to "Friday" on my journey back and forth MT <---> SK.

There's this one song that reminds me of a Korean/Japanese movie theme song, the one that has that train-in-theme park scene...or is it the one that has this girl becoming a soldier in the end...?? Ntahlah, can't really remember, such a long time ago. Anyway, the song is "He Don't Love You Like I love You". Somehow the rhythm seems similar.When I feel melancholic abt. the world, the universe etc., "Honest Questions" soothes. My point is, it's a good album for yours truly to satiate whatever pang there is in her sometimes-pathetic-world.

I've replaced those cassettes with Raihan's Demi Masa and Ust. B. Amin's Munajat.
I'd like to bring back DB's Gotta Get Thru This inside, can ah? :p


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My #th Birthday

Rainbow in my heart <3

This bear says...? :p

Wah, a card with a pin badge!? :)

Hehe, such an effort to put me name on this Tiramisu! :p

Thank you all my beloved & dear friends for the lovely wishes and prayers. Words cannot express enough appreciation on the blessings that I feel this day. I am a year older, hopefully a year wiser & tougher in facing many more challenges to come. 

p/s: Please don't remind me how old I am :p

Have you ever tasted their new pizza?

All new #PizzaHut . New dishes. New flavours. Eat, Laugh, Share at Pizza Hut!








p/s: HappY BirthdaY to Miss FJ
May you be under HIS guide & blessings always...

Syabas my dear ;-)

An email to miss No-nonsense :) (with minor edit)

W'salam warahmatullah cik R,

Alhamdulillah...the seminar was truly an underdog story. My teammate & I received feedback that they like our seminar better than the previous two, even tho' ours is such a small session with simple preparation.

& I actually am grateful for what I had learned in all those 'kurusus' in Kay-eMeM i.e. having an evaluation form. Apparently so far my team is the only team that distribute evaluation forms to participants (for me it helps in making the report later ) & there are actually those who commented to us that it was a really good move to have it. Looks like we become the trendsetter for that one, since there are abt 6 more groups who will be handling seminars after this.

I pity those who will be handling seminar with 'Datuks' as the guest speaker...for they have no choice but to have a bigger venue & number of participants. Mind you, we have to bear the expenses ourselves in conducting this seminar. The instructor made it hard with his comment that the previous batch who had higher marks were the one who had large number of participants...so pretty much my classmates were keen on having large seminars.

But my team remain contented with doing things under our own means...Hopefully the instructor notice our effort lah...

Us...missing one member (who called to express his ardent regret)

Well, everybody else thot it was very interactive! :p

They like each & every type of kuehs there :)

Happy, Satisfied, Satiated ;p

p/s: Had to rush back home for Mawled el-Nabi s.a.w function at our Taman's mosque that night, organized by its committee (which included Abah). I almost fell asleep & Mak had to massage my neck in front of others. I haven't fully recovered from the seminar's doings up till now :p

p/p/s: Next week another seminar, the team member complained of not receiving feedback on their application to use the PA system of another faculty, as well as having a hard time to contact a cafe on refreshment arrangement for their guest speaker plus difficulty on getting sponsorship for participants' gifts. Told ya it's tough when having to handle a bigger session...i sure hope they can make it!


p/p/p/s: I've shared my team's soft copy of letters with the rest of the class. I think it's important for them to minimize errors before getting the head dept. to endorse their letters, not having the head to correct each letter for each group. I mean, back in my previous workplace, we already know the 'style' so we avoid making mistakes in letters. But here, we are only starting to learn.
One group asks to have our attendance sheet soft copy & to borrow the old black cloth that i used as table cloth during our seminar. But they do look 'old' really...

p/p/p/p/s: Thanks a lot to my teammate, Lubna! We made it!

"You can have everything you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want,"- Zig Ziglar

Shut

Like an ornament that
Everybody wants
In a home,
glitters and beckons.
to touch and caress -
a lost and confused soul.

If I have the answer
I would have present it
for you,
in a jewelery box.
I would wait until Venus is on the same page as Mars.

"But-"
I smile
"It's already written"
I nod

Copyright © 2011

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Outing...Putrajayaing...Briskwalking

I kinda look forward to this weekly exercise with the clan...& i like that brunch would always follow :p
I bet it'll be hard to make it 'weekly' though. Well, it's one effort to another :)

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Now playing: Westlife - You raise me up
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Unperturbed

Unperturbed

You let that song play

Until I realize what it means

Until I hear the voice that runs

Peace in my soul

Will a drought ever drain this drizzling tranquility?

Will a storm ever shatter this summer hope?

We continue to wonder, knowing

With faith to accept

HIS decree

That it is you, that it is I, that it is us

Copyright © 2010

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The Bulletin/Article Writing Workshop

The course started Fri evening 29 Oct to Sun evening 31 Oct.

So a day before the workshop there was 1 final exam paper & the day before that there was a candidature defense session that we had actually asked for excuse due to impending due date for the qualitative asgmnt (+ the xm to prepare for?!). In the end, we had to endure it all. Oh, did I mention? Our interviewee didn't come on the appointed time. So our last resort was to do an online interview with 2 different people that very night.

I made arrangement wit NI to have her spend the time at the budget hotel with me & do what she could do with the asgmnt first while I attend the workshop. She became my driver to &; from the workshop venue. Apparently there was a couple who were among the workshop participants spending the nights at the hotel also. NI gave them a lift on the final night & last day of the workshop as suddenly their car broke down. They were really nice couple, committed in sharing & conveying health issues through their blog (the husband is a doctor).

Well, i was a bit disappointed that my workplace did not send anyone to the workshop. Being the main centre of u-know-what, this workshop would help in preparing the annual bulletin etc. But then, if I were to put myself there & happened to be chosen, it would be quite a dilemma for me also. Can't bear to think of the workload I would have to shoulder while away on course.

Anyhow, initially I was supposed to attend the workshop with a free mind..until that qualitative asgmnt made its grand entrance in the last class. I was so thankful that NI could join me at the hotel & we discussed on the asgmnt once i returned from the workshop, which was abt 11pm each night. She did her part quite good while i was at the workshop.

I was lucky to have received email abt the workshop fr RS and was able to enjoy the discounted fee being the early bird. The participants received a certificate, a complete notes files & invaluable tips, plus very hearty meals! I kept telling the management that the food they prepared for us were so mewah!

One of the workshop gurus put a tulah (sort of a curse) on us participants; if we did not produce any article within a week after the workshop, all the knowledge/tips we gathered there would be lost. UH-OH...

Points to remember &never repeat after this;
It is illegal to upload photos/videos or copy song lyrics then paste/put to blog etc. without the consent/permission of the rightful/original owner.

Hmm, this is going to be hard...

p/s: I'm sure one of the gurus, was a classmate in a feature writing class I took while in iium.
p/p/s: I wish I could stay another night in Wangsa Maju & explore the area like a tourist :p
p/p/p/s: Our qualitative asgmnt, was made as example for the seniors to refer to ;) Alhamdulillah...

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